Katawa Slapstick
by UnoriginalPrankster
Summary: Things just took a turn for the surreal at Yamaku...


Just a mishmash of jokes from various sources and other rubbish I've come across.

Characters belong to 4LS

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><p>Hisao Nakai was not exactly in the best of moods when he woke up. That nightmare that, for some strange reason, involved Dr Doom in a Yamaku girl's uniform screaming "Doom Demands Chocolate, Hisao!" had left him feeling more than a little nauseous. He checked his bedside clock; six thirty. He probably wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep, so decided a shower would be the most productive use of the time he had till breakfast was served.<p>

As it wasn't long till the end-of-year break, and most exams had finished, the gender segregation rules were relaxed a little. It allowed for a little release of steadily building teenage urges that, now they had nothing else to do, could make the atmosphere a little fraught.

The shower had helped clear his head a little, and his stomach was no longer doing backflips. As he left, however, he was greeted with the sight of a hooded figure in green, its face hidden in shadow, looming over him. His nightmare come to life.

"AAAAAAAAARGH!"

Hisao fell backwards, scrambling away from the apparition. He only hoped his heart didn't give out on him now...

A steel hand came forth from out if the robe, no doubt to claim the choc...

"Yo man, whatcha screaming at?" the figure pulled back the hood, to reveal Kenji, trying his best not smirk.

"Kenji! What the hell's with the get up!? You scared the life outta me!"

"Why d'ya think? It's to hide from those goddamn feminists." He lifted the hem of his robe to reveal booted stilts. "They're beginning to make their move, I'm sure of it; I can feel it in my bones man. I'm disrupting their operations through spreading blind terror." Considering Kenji's usual ideas, this sadly looked like one of his saner ones. Just a pity he seemed to be spreading blind terror to the potential resistance too. "I must act quickly. Farewell, Hisao Nakai, may fortune favour you!"

Hisao sighed an got to his feet. He had just made it to the door when Kenji turned and asked, "Hey man, I've set up a trap and I need some bait. Have you got any chocolate I could borrow?"

"...Okay, I'm hallucinating. I'm still in bed. I'm just seeing this because I had the mushrooms last night. None of this is real."

Kenji patted himself down, "Nope, feels pretty real to me. So common man, gimme chocolate!"

Hisao groaned, "You have no idea just how wrong that sounds. Next thing you know, we'll all find out Rin's been hiding in that trash can over there." He gestured to the large one in the corner of the room.

Rin's head popped out, "Yes?"

"AAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Hisao bolted out the room.

And then "HNNNNNG!"

Kenji stood there and blinked, "Huh? Something I said? And how the hell do you fit in those things!? This must be like the fifth time I've come across you in one!" He asked Rin.

Run had a bored expression, as usual. "Girl trick. Here." A wad of paper flew out the bin.

Kenji picked it up. Given his near blindness, he had to bring it right up to his face to read it "It is a sin. To put Rin. In a bin. Though it makes me grin. It's made of win. Have some Gin...what? Is this some feminist code thing?"

"Oh whoops. Wrong one." Another wad flew out.

"Lemme see, "Agent Ikari, possible feminist training camp located in medical block. Please investigate. This message will self destruct." You're a girl. Why are _you_ giving me this?"

Run shrugged, "For a laugh?"

"Never mind" He threw it back in the bin. "Don't worry. Kenji Seto is always on duty!" He sprinted out. "CONSPIRACY!"

Rin sighed, "And all this because of that meme." The message exploded, covering her face in a fine coating of soot. "Oww."

"WAHAHAHA!" The world began to turn pink.

"And now we've just blundered into Unlimited Drill Works. I will never understand some people."

"Sorry Rin. Are we late?" That was Lilly, who for some odd reason was wearing an old style motorcycle helmet. Emi was beside her with her infamous 'troll face'. Had she just been in the shed again?

"No, just in time actually."

"Oh. Capital. Rin'nai Circulation?"

Rin nodded "Rin'nai Circulation. By the way, where's Hanako?" Lilly shrugged.

The sound of something crashing through the room heralded was followed a few seconds later by a smoking Hanako bellyflopping into the floor. The tiles cracked as she landed. "...I hate fire." She managed to get up and dust herself off, spitting some tile fragments out.

"Ah, there she is! Where've you been?"

"I..I..Iwasjustdoingsomething!"

_Se No _

_Kami-sama arigato!_

_KABOOM!_ Followed by the sound of a screaming Hisao being blasted out of the building at high speed.

"Must've run into Shizune." Emi moaned "Poor guy."

Hanako sighed, "Meh, Shikata Ga Nai."

_Fin._


End file.
